Being beautiful is more than skin and bones

For women who have struggled with body image that feel like they need to starve themselves in order to feel beautiful, I want to help you love the person you are and become the person that you want to be by offering you an understanding community of support, compassion, and accountability. I want to address the need for women to know that they can feel beautiful and happy in their own skin in a world of unrealistic conceptions of beauty. Because I understand that starving yourself skinny doesn't make you beautiful...being happy and fit does.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Insanity Wall Calendar

So I just wanted to share quick photo before I work out because I'm feeling really proud of myself today.  I am on the last week of my journey with Insanity!  This journey has been incredible and I am so happy with myself and the program and I can't believe how much good I did for myself in only 2 months.  It was definitely not easy and not for the faint of heart...but I made the decision to commit to myself and my health and I couldn't be happier with where that brought me.


This is my giant wall poster of the Insanity Workout Calendar.  My boyfriend has supported my journey with Insanity from the beginning.  Initially, he did say that he didn't think I could do it, but when he saw how determined I was to prove him wrong, he has supported me every step of the way.  He printed out a GIANT version of the Insanity Workout Calendar to hang up on my wall (it's actually NAILED to my wall right now and takes up about half of the wall haha).  I've been crossing off each and every day as I go and I'm proud to say that I've made it to the last week!  Nothing can stop me now! :]  

If you're doing a program like Insanity, make sure you use the calendar and CROSS DAYS OFF as you go...it is so rewarding to see all of the little x's at the end! :] 

Alright, I'm done with bragging for the moment and I'm off to do my first workout in week 9 of Insanity.  Max Interval Plyo...here I come!

:]

(a fit girl = a happy girl)

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Take THAT Tonya!!!

So yesterday morning I was feeling pretty nervous.  In fact, I was almost dreading my Insanity workout for the day.  I know it may seem kind of ridiculous to feel nervous about a 25 minute fit test...but when you're putting in everything you have every day, digging deeper, and committing to a program like Insanity...you pray and hope and wish that your next fit test results will be better.  I think I get nervous because all of my hard work and effort makes doing well on the fit test like taking a high stakes test : ]

I shouldn't ever worry though because I always do better on the fit test.  I just took my 4th fit test yesterday and compared them to my previous results and holy batman have I improved!

I even beat Tonya in some things!  (I remember HATING Tonya's guts in Month 1 because she's pretty much a robot).  Take a look at my results!  I'm really excited about them!

Exercise
Fit Test 1
Fit Test 2
Fit Test 3
Fit Test 4
Switch Kicks
32
63
66
74
Power Jacks
37
52
57
66
Power Knees
45
110
118
128
Power Jumps
20
51
56
64
Globe Jumps
7
12
12
14
Suicide Jumps
10
17
17
21
Push-up Jacks
15
27
24
32
Low Plank Obliques
56
80
81
93

Anyone else do Insanity with great results so far?  What have you improved the most on?

Friday, August 10, 2012

The beginning

So I wanted to start off by saying that I never thought I'd get to where I am right now.  I'm not finished becoming who I want to be, but I'm finally happy because I feel like I'm on the right path and finally making the right change in my life.

Growing up, I studied pre-professionally to be a ballet dancer.  I danced 6-7 days a week, 3-8 hours a day.  It was my dream for a very long time to be a professional ballet dancer and I traveled around the country getting the best ballet education possible.  I spent summers in Miami, Massachusetts, and San Francisco.  I participated in countless performances and the Nutcracker annually.  I was Marie for two years with the Pennsylvania Ballet.  I got lead roles in Serenade, Concerto Barocco, Sleeping Beauty, and other famous ballets in pre-professional companies.

Two things changed my mind over time about becoming a professional ballet dancer:

1.  Even though ballet brought so many opportunities to me throughout my life and helped shape who I am today, it was also very toxic for my self-confidence and self-perception.  In ballet, you are surrounded by skinny people, people with eating disorders, and people who are always better than you.  Mirrors line every classroom to force you to look at your imperfections, and in case you don't notice them, somebody will tell you.  When I was seriously dancing, I was between 110 and 115 pounds.  That's the skinniest I've ever been, but at that point in my life, I couldn't look in the mirror without seeing the reflection of a fat person.  My stomach was too big.  My thighs were way too big.  My butt was bigger than the other girls' in the class. All of my self-doubt was constantly reaffirmed by my instructors and coaches.  I was told by many teachers, "If you just lost five pounds, you could be a professional,"  or "Your thighs are just too bulky; you'll need to thin out if you really want to go pro."
Rehearsing for Sugar Plum

But at 110-115 pounds, I was just about as thin as I could get.  I was on a diet of only 1200 calories AND working out every single day for hours!   I didn't know how to lose more weight besides starving myself.  Some of the girls I danced with were fooling around with their diets and eating habits and they were all thinner than me...so why not try it?

Me and my "fat" thighs



I started skipping meals, eating smaller than small portions, and only bringing an iced coffee to long rehearsal days.  I remember being in rehearsal and shaking/feeling faint from being starving.  I remember applauding myself for my willpower and resistance to eating "too much" food.  I couldn't keep up with this kind of routine though, so I would start to binge and sneak food and eat all sorts of things I shouldn't have been eating.  This just made me hate myself even more.  Really?  I only needed to lose five pounds.  Why couldn't I just suck it up and starve myself like the others?  I hated who I saw when I looked in the mirror: fat, unmotivated, disgusting.

The second reason I decided to let go of ballet as a serious profession was because of an ankle issue.  I had a lot of ankle pain going into high school and I ended up getting surgery on it.  After the surgery, it was never really the same.  It was weaker (years after surgery), and to this day bothers me if I stand on it wrong or pointe my foot/stand on pointe.  I didn't want to risk really re-injuring it again.

This left me in college with no real idea of how to exercise (there is exercise outside of ballet? What?).  I got lazy, I gained weight (up to 125), I got out of shape.  I started going to the gym and tried everything from running, to the elliptical, to some light weightlifting and machines.  None of that really seemed to connect with me because I didn't really know what I was doing and I wasn't getting or feeling any obvious results.  Eventually I got back into ballet (just for fun this time which was a lot nicer because the teacher was so supportive and kind and would never ask me or anyone else to lose weight!), but my ankle was still weak and shaky and bothering me on pointe so I took a break.  I went to the doctor and he told me to take at least 2 months off to let the swelling/aggravation in my ankle go away.  After the two months, I felt super lazy and out of shape again, but I didn't want to go back to the gym : /

Gained a little weight in college

My coworker started talking about Insanity, so I said, "Sure..why not?  I'll give it a try."  And I am SO glad that I committed to it and to myself because I am so much happier today!  I'm on my 7th week of Insanity right now and I'm much closer to the body that I've always wanted WITHOUT having to play games with eating or feel badly about myself.  So I wanted to start this blog to share more about myself and my journey with fitness and help keep others motivated too!  Keep tuned for more!

Contact me at www.beachbodycoach.com/aliciajones